00:34 IST - Collingwood feels sorry for Broad. Sorry, I don’t. The arrogant brat got what he deserved. Go Yuvi! Dhoni is happy. Do-or-die against SA tomorrow. Let’s see how it goes. Off for now. Yuvi gets the Man of the Match - obviously! Good night folks!
00:27 IST - Swung away, just a single. Surely, India will win now? 34 to win from 4. 33 to win from 4 now. 29 from 3.
BRILLIANT CATCH! On the fence, fingertips and feet inches away from the fence, Bhajji picks him up. Lovely catch. 23 from 1. England end up on 200, lose the match by 18 runs.
And yours truly is so happy for Dhoni. Chak De takes off in the background. Overall, a good performance.
00:21 IST - 48 to win from 12 now. What an over that was. 43 from 11 now, Bhajji sends down a few wides. Flintoff’s on strike now. 41 in 9, appeal for a runout and the commentator goes “oh he’s tight”. Gaylord.
38 in 7. 36 in 6. Six sixers will do it. Pathan to bowl, surely.
00:16 IST - 52 from 18 now.
Dot ball. Gold. 52 from 17. Another brilliant yorker here, 52 from 16. And Shah goes. Who’s in now? Never mind, Collingwood’s gone too - RP Singh knocks back the middle stump. Hit and miss stuff here.
00:13 IST - Touch and go - Shah just in. Green light comes on. 67 from 23 now. A six and a four, 53 from 19 now. Getting tight here.
00:07 IST - Collingwood picks up a six. Lovely shot. England on here, still? He picks up a four too. Whoops!
74 from 28. I’m starting to lose fingernails here …
Will it be Yuvraj that separates them today? Sreesanth sends down a wide too. Damn. 72 from 27. Now 26. Dot ball. Priceless.
Shah smashes a low fulltoss over midwicket, four more. 68 from 25. Sreesanth gets all aggressive here. I like his attitude - murder the batsman if you can’t get him out. A man after my own heart.
00:03 IST - Bhajji gets KP out! BIG wicket, caught and bowled. Lovely reflexes, KP had absolutely murdered it straight back. Whew. Nearly took a chunk off Bhajji if his relfexes weren’t sharp.
Shah’s in.
00:00 IST - England going for the slogs here now. D-oh! 93 to get in 36.
23:56 IST - Will Sehwag or Yuvi get a bowl? With KP or PC around? Pathan is keeping it tight here. Very tight. Like J’Lo’s rear.
Sorry, hottie.
99 to get from 42.
23:52 IST - Apologies - bastards at BESCOM found this opportune moment to shed load at my home. Back with electricity and coffee now. 102-2 England. Mom’s out with the lantern just in case.
Four more, Collingwood and square leg. Sharma pushes up a good yorker and keeps it down the one. 112 in 50 now. Huge, huge SIX from Pietersen. Sharma hasn’t done well here. 118-2 from 12.
23:47 IST - England can win this, 123 in 58. Oopsie doopsie.
And Solanki holes out to mid-on, he makes the exit. 96-2 here. KP’s still there, no one’s leaving yet.
23:42 IST - KP shuffles across the wickets and creams Sreesanth for four past extra-cover. Good batting. KP is going out for an all-out assault. India will have to be wary here. 94-1 from 10. India have dropped another catch. Damn.
23:39 IST - Bhajji goes for four here, short and Solanki takes him to the cleaners. Bhajji to KP now. Huuuuuge appeal for LBW and he survives it. 83-1 from 9. England fighting hard and fighting well here.
23:34 IST - Joginder Sharma is in. Surely, he’s targeted, is what Nasser reckons. He goes for the yorker and it ends up as a full-toss, Solanki doesn’t time it well.
And DROPPED! Unbelievable, Yuvraj Singh of all people drops a sitter. Spare a thought for Joginder Sharma, he misses out on another chance to pick up a wicket. Pietersens creams a four past midwicket, 74-1 from 8. Far from over, this.
23:33 IST - Bhajji keeps England quiet here. 65-1 from 7.
23:27 IST - Six more, can’t bowl short here. England will chase and chase hard. But a wicket falls, skied to mid-on who runs back and gets into a good position, taking an easy catch. Neat stuff here, England are now opened up as Maddy makes an exit. In walks KP to a shitload of boos.
Bhajji is in. Like to see if KP will play the reverse sweep again.
23:24 IST - Rohit Sharma into the attack. England will try to attack him, and they do. Maddy gets four more as the transmission gets fucked and we break into Mountain Dew’s darr ke aage jeet hai promo.
Back live now. RP Singh slips and trips and misses a simple catch - and a four for England. Solanki follows it up with a six. Creamed over long-on. All happening here. 45-0 from 5. England are coasting along.
23:19 IST - Maddy picks up a four, outside edge to third man. RP Singh smiles sheepishly, and comes back in with a ball that came back into Maddy. RP Singh bowls short and Solanki takes him on, over midwicket for four. Can’t bowl short to England on this track, whether you’re defending 200 or 100.
Around the wicket now …
England still trying to recover from the shock, I guess. Broad survives, I see him alive and hopping around. 30-0 from 4.
23:15 IST - Dhoni going or the kill, slip in place. Sreesanth continues. 19-0 from 3. Boring out here after the sixer-showers.
23:11 IST - India are charged up here. Something Freddie said maybe, as Solanki creams this one for four in the covers. But come on, it’s just a harmless little four. We’re still remembering the Yuvi sixers. 11-0 from 2.
23:09 IST - Sreesanth cuts him open to start with. Go Mallu. 3-0 from 1 are England.
23:05 IST - Deepak sends this stat - amazing, amazing stuff. Yuvraj’s 50 is the fastest ever considering club matches too.
Maddy and Solanki are out there. Here we go …
23:00 IST - England need to chase out of their skins to win this. They’ll have to do this with 10 men though - last I heard, Stuard broad’s committed suicide. Any sane man would if he was at the receiving end of the intercoursed that Yuvraj inflicted upon him. Nothing short of sexual.
Meanwhile, I hear Yuvraj’s gone for an ice-bath. Why? Why the fuck? Let him be charged up, puh-lease!
I can’t wait to see how KP approaches this game. Pathan and co. have a task. I wounldn’t underestimate the Brits if I were you.
Headlines Today are already on it with the over-dramatization. Crap.
22:50 IST - Sanity restored.
Not yet. Six more. Yuvi is on fire here. He was dying to come out to bat. Not anymore, he’s out here. Amazing batting, fastest fifty ever. Afridi can hang his boots now, he can’t overtake this one.
India finish with 218-4 from their 20. Lovely batting. Yuvraj has creamed the nation towards success here. Lovely stuff. I get a break. For the record, Yuvi’s fifty came in 12 balls. Fuck.
22:40 IST - Yuvraj and Flintoff exchange a few words. Yuvraj charges towards him, bat in hand. What the fuck is happening?
Never mind, though, Yuvi charged up here and smashes a six, probably the longest in the tournament. England need a few fielders in the stands here. SIX MORE! Yuvraj is on fire here. Amazing stuff. The crowd better watch out.
And YET another Six! Yuvraj taking revenge for those five sixers here. 3 in 3. I’m loving it. Steaming hot this match. Like a goan woman a week after Christmas.
And YET another!!! Jesus Christ, four sixers in four balls. Yuvraj six is HOT-HOT-HOT! 195 already.
AND HERE IT GOES AGAIN!!! 5 in 5! Broad giving up on religion here. God’s sitting this one out, as far as he’s concerned. Are we on for six on six?
GOD! 6 in 6! Maximum over, 36 runs, al the way! Fuck me, just fuck me, I can’t believe it. Way to go India!. 207-3 after 18. Yuvi picks up the fastest fifty here in T20.
22:38 IST - India have done well here. Anything from now onwards is a bonus. 160 is a good target already. 171-3 after 18.
22:31 IST - Utthappa welcomes Tremlett with another boundary. The English commentators are impresed with him. So am I. Sweating all over, are the players. Hot and sultry out there, like a burrito on fire.
And Utthappa goes here, moving too far across trying to scoop one behind fine-leg. Went too cheeky, a shot to be played on the street that guards my apartment. 159-3 after 17.
22:28 IST - The Indian’s don’t state their ‘favourite’ shot in the intro, do they? Perhaps that’s a BCCI clause. What else?
Gambhir picks up four more, cheeky leg-glance off maddy for four more. On-course for 190 here. Gambhir tries another leg-glance this time and falls this time. 2 down India. Going downhill or uphill?
Dhoni is in. 148-2 after 16.
22:24 IST - Gambhir picks up his fifty too, from 36 balls. Four more, as Tremlett continues to bowl full tosses here. Crap bowling. I am far from impressed. The batting though, has been aggressive.
The camera moves to a little infant who looks oh-so-relaxed in sleep. The Indian dug-out must be as relaxed, you reckon?
And there it is, the first breakthrough, Tremlett gets rid of Sehwag here, bowled him on his leg-stump. He’s done the job though, and a good platform for the sloggers to capitalize. Fresh pair of legs too. Those be Utthappa’s. 138-1 after 15.
22:22 IST - In comes Maddy. Miser, he be. Gambhir gets an inside edge and it goes behind the keeper for four. Hardy-har-har England.
Something’s gonna happen here …
Gambhir creams this over extra-cover for four more. He gets a single too. Sehwag on strike now. Interesting …
129-0 after 14.
22:17 IST - Gambhir gets another top edge off a slow bouncer from Anderson. No damage done though. Dhoni looks happy. Nasser suggests Sehwag has trimmed down a bit, and Sunny suggests he watches his diet. We digress, as Gambhir smashes this over midwicket but it’s just a couple, didn’t middle it at all. 118-0 after 13.
22:13 IST - Gambhir crashes a first one up from Tremlett for four past the bowler. Powerful shot. India looking good here. Sunny goes ‘oh-ho-ho’ as only he can. Sehwag, meanwhile, helps himself on to four more, opening the face of the bat towards point. Low full toss doesn’t do much here. He picks up a single too, the lefty’s back. Poor Chris.
I must say, I’m surprised, this is professional batting from India. Good going yaar. 110-0 after 12.
22:10 IST - Reliance’s chote match bade sapne ad’s here, and it’s no surprise - the first few kids go for bouncers, sixers, wickets, and finally - in walks the lovely little child who wants to field. ‘Diving catch’ he says. That’s what India needs. Good fielders. Learn, fucking learn.
Back to the match. Sehwag and Gambhir running hard, running well. 98-0 after 11.
22:04 IST - And in he comes, the captain himself. What can gentle medium pace do to a circumspect openin pair?
Oops! Sehwag gets a top-edge and it’s dropped! Solanki took off in the wrong way. Sehwag survives, but what the fuck was the keeper doing running towards midwicket when the ball went behind him?
This time Sehwag finds the middle of the bat and ‘whoomp’ - it’s a six! Collingwood shakes his head. He’s disappointed, and he has every right to be. Sehwag smashes four more and picks up 50 in 38 balls - oopsie doopsie England, as India are coasting along at 9. 90-0 after 10.
22:00 IST - Mr. Anderson is back. India aren’t taking too many risks here, perhaps trying to keep wickets in hand for the evening onslaught?
Gambhir runs it down to the third-man fence, good job there. 77-0 after 9. Collingwood in a spot of bother here.
21:57 IST - Yes, it’s Tremlett. Sehwag gets a top-edge firt ball - flashes hard - over third man for six. Bowler isn’t impressed. Howdy, Chris!
Gambhir creams a four over point. Lets it fly off the blade and Collingwood’s outstretched fingers miss it by a bit. Oops, a no-ball, a free-hit for Sehwag. Hee hee, this will be fun. Enthusiasm oozing at this ball …
Oooh, blockhole ball there, Sehwag misses the free hit. Middle Earth remains intact. Tolkien hangover, apologies. 70-0 after 8, Delhi duo G and S going well here, as we break into rimpoché again. Damn.
21:53 IST - And Sehwag greets Mascarenhas over midwicket for four. Neat shot, Dmitri will need to watch out. Slippery in the dark though, and Sehwag will need to be watchful.
Watchfulness be damned. Sehwag creams it over cover for six and smashes it right into the chest of a spectator for six, the old chap will make it though. Stuff starting to happen here. 56-0 after 7, will it be Tremlett after Dmitri’s 15-run over? Hmm …
21:49 IST - Fred is here again. Quick bowling changes, just the single over spells. Sehwag trying to attack - last over before the restrictions are off. Freddie’s getting good movement off the seam, and this time, another wide. Peek-a-boo goes the wide ghost. 41-0 after 6. Wickets intact, the Indian batting card is still virgin.
21:43 IST - Off goes Freddy, and Broad’s back. Bizarre yet interesting, creative Collingwood.
Doesn’t work though - Gambhir gets under a short Broad one and pulls it front of square for a ‘little’ six. Broad, like every other Brit under fire, is all red now. Nice. Aggression. Blood oozing. Whoop-dee-doo.
Sehwag yet to break open here. Swing and a miss - no damage, but it’s the calm before the storm. India have done well, but haven’t capitalized on the fielding restrictions. 35-0 after 5.
21:40 IST - Anderson now, with the change of bowling ends. Gambhir and Sehwag are picking singles here easily. A mistimed shot fetches the lefty another couple. And another mistimer on the leg side, but two more here. Gambhir playing too early, or Anderson’s skidding onto him. Or both.
The left-handed Delhi-ite trying to free his arms here. 23-0 after 4 as rimpoché’s back.
21:37 IST - Straightaway, an injured Flintoff comes into the attack. Why in the world is he playing on an injury?
17-0 after 3. Freddie keeps them quiet.
21:32 IST - Broad to keep Anderson and the two batsmen company. Must be fun, Sehwag and Broad are first-timers against each other here.
I must say, for nothing to play for besides pride, the Englishmen are bending their backs rather nicely here. Good commitment, and good energy.
Ouch, spoke to soon - another wide. MI6’s radars were always fucked, I thought. A wide ghost lurks. 13-0 after 2.
21:09 IST - Sehwag gets one that zips above the head. Wide called, rightly so. Mr. Anderson follows it up with another wide on the off, Sehwag tries to cream it but it ain’t easy to reach something a hundred feet away. And a four is picked up, off the pads behind the keeper. 9-0 after 1.
21:27 IST - Jimmy starts off with a wide. Short one straightaway though, good pace and length. Needs to get the radar working though. He follows it up with one outside off, Gambhir let’s it go without attempting any sort of intercourse on it. Anderson to Sehwag now, this should be interesting …
21:25 IST - And the folks are out on the turf. Sehwag and Gambhir open for India. Anderson for England. Off we go …
Preview
21:24 IST - Dhoni’s won the toss and says he’s going to set the score. Paul Collingwood reckons otherwise, and it’s all or nothing. India have all to gain, England have nothing to lose. Freddie’s fit, and that isn’t the best of news if you’re brown. Okay, I’m racist - sue me. For India, Joginder Sharma makes a comeback. Sunny reckon’s it’s a good move, the lad hasn’t exactly been offered a bottle of wine with the team position has he?
The pitch is the same one where Kemp and the Proteas screwed the Kiwis. This match, of course, is under the lights, and 150-ish might be a good score. India would consider anything above 160 a safe score here. The rain Gods are away on leave today - thankfully - so that’s good.
This ground, though, is known for it’s shorter boundaries and the bowlers will have to keep it tight. Speaking of tight, the cheerleaders are having a ball out there, as an Indian spectator’s hopped onto the baby stage, proving a point or two himself.
