Statutory warning: If you haven’t seen The Departed and/or The Independence Day, the back button beckons. If you have, this post is strictly for audiences ages 18 and above.

Dean Devlin wrote this brilliant speech from ‘The Independence Day’ - the video is here.

Good morning. In less than an hour, aircrafts from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom … Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

When President Thomas Whitmore is done, I had the hair standing in pride, occidentalism notwithstanding. Forget the oil, this speech touched me, impeach Bush and bring Pullman on. Moved me, it did.

But, just wondering, what if Marty made the flick instead of Roland Emmerich? And what if William Monahan wrote the dialogue? And, what if Mark Wahlberg was President? Here’s a potential Scorsesian touch.

Good morning, ladies. In less than one fucking hour, aircrafts from all around the fucking planet including this shithole will unite like a million dicks up an alienwhore’s ass. We’ll be shoving a few missiles up the bitch mothership. This is gonna be the largest fucking battle in history. No, we ain’t taking any fucking shit from any dipshits no more. It’s about time you guys wake the fuck up and get your asses and acts together. And hey, bitches, today’s the fourth of fucking July, you Irish lace-curtain motherfuckers? We’re fighting for our freedom. It ain’t from fucking tyranny, oppression, or persecution - nope - but from fucking annihilation. For our right to fucking live. To fucking exist. We won’t let aliens fuck us through our own fucking planet. No fucking way. And should we smoke those motherfucking alien bastards today, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as a fucking American holiday, but as the day the fucking world declared in one fucking voice: “We will not let our dicks go limp and pee into the night! We’re going to live on, you alien fucksticks! We’re going to fucking survive! Today we celebrate our fucking Independence Day!

Let’s nuke the bitch. And if you think I’ll screw up like I did in Iraq, blow me.

Yes, dear reader, I just needed an excuse to curse. Merci, really, for bearing with the profanity. I’ll stop fucking with you.