In the midst of this madness, spare a thought for the primates themselves who not just have their very social and biological identity ridiculed on national television, but also threatened by an Australian or two.
But questioning one’s legitimacy - something that flew out of the ever-wobbly tongue of a certain Hog - is apparently all fine.
With all due respect, the Idiotic Cricket Council - for that’s what it is - is making a fool of itself. For sure.
At least 11 pilgrims were trampled to death and 15 injured on Sunday in a stampede on a narrow path leading to the famous Mahakali temple atop Pavagadh Hill on a day when an unprecedented six lakh devouts turned up. This is what the Superintendent of Police Dipankar Trivedi had to say:
The flow of devotees this time was unprecedented. We were expecting two lakh pilgrims but more than six lakh turned up
Unprece-what?
Okay, we Indians really don’t know how to queue up. Agreed. But, pray tell me, how does the government manage a logistical feat such as the elections, or the Kumbh Mela and the works, and they can’t handle this? Something’s wrong somewhere.
A bit of analysis into the report revealed something - Chief Minister, Narendra Modi. No wonder.
Luckily for him and unluckily for the country, this issue has been eclipsed by the Ludhiana blast.
With all due respect, Jean-Louis Cardinal Tauran - who is supposedly responsible for the Vatican’s main liaison agency with the Islamic world, needs to do better if he wants to promote peace amongst Christianity and other religions.
Consider this report where he highlights the “extreme” case of Saudi Arabia where freedom of religion was “violated absolutely” with “no Christian churches and a ban on celebrating Mass, even in a private home”. He started off well, calling for a “culture of peace and solidarity that honours all human creatures” (although I think other animals should be loved too, but hey) - but the statement above that teases to link Islam and extremism is uncalled for.
A word of caution for the Guardian too (in fact, more than just a word) - their title reads “Vatican urges Muslim respect for all faiths”, it talks about a Cardinal showing concerns over extremism in Saudi Arabia, and it also carries a paragraph which reads:
The cardinal’s Eid greeting does not single out Muslims for criticism - his appeals are aimed at “religious believers” - nor does he make a direct link between Islam and violence.
Rrrright. And pigs fly.
So Saudi Arabia is extreme in its approach, which is why it doesn’t go down too well with the non-Muslim community. I’ve known a few Christians and Hindus I worked with who feared being sent to that country on an assignment. But tell you what - the KSA was never known to be too compassionate towards people from other faiths anyway. They’ve always been regarded (and recognized) as the custodians of Islam, they’ve always propagated the religious importance of Mecca throughout the country, and the bottom-line is, they are an Islamic state - they’re very clear on what they permit in their nation.
The Vatican ought to focus on improving their relationships with the Muslim world constructively than ‘urging them to respect all faiths’, sprinkling in chatter on terrorism and extremism. It paints a two-faced picture of them that really doesn’t help, considering that this is the same Vatican who protested against the construction of Mosque in Nazareth.
May I also remind the Vatican that the Muslim community, in general, has been more compassionate towards Christians than any other religion. In the ‘metropolitan’ city of Dubai, the commercial hub in the ‘Islamic’ government of the United Arab Emirates, there are at least two Catholic churches and one Protestant church. Orthodox too.
And two lame excuses for Hindu temples.
Sharjah - the most cultured (and extreme) Islamic city in the Emirates - has a church as well, as does Abu Dhabi. No temple in any of those cities. 140kms - Abu Dhabi to Dubai - is a long distance to travel atleast once a week, don’t you think, for someone who wants to offer worship?
Talk about cross-cultural marriages, an upcoming trend in today’s day and age where cultural harmony is peaking, Islam permits more compatibility and is more lenient to Catholics marrying people of their faith. In hindsight and at the grassroots, Catholics and Muslims are a lot closer to each other than the Vatican suggests.
I, for one, got nothing against the Christians (or the Hindus, or the Muslims, or the Sikhs - or any religion for that matter). I went to a Catholic school, I was schooled by nuns, our sweaty bunch of volleyball enthusiasts would prostrate in front of Mary outside Church, we went to Mass even, helped decorate Christmas trees and even built a Crib to celebrate and signify the birth of Christ. I don’t need anyone to tell me how compassionate the Christian people are, how peace-loving and optimistic they are, and how warm their homes are.
It just sickens me to think that the ‘custodians’ of such a wonderful community pass such comments at a global level. It fuels hatred for not-so-fortunate Hindus and Muslims who believe what they hear and read without actually sharing their lives with the Christians, or vice-versa.
In any case, chances of Muslims listening to “the Pope’s interfaith expert” are remote, to say the least.
Being the snobbish, selfish and proud Bangalore techie that I am, when Ms. Inform-me-delays went ‘Kingfisher regrets to inform you of a further twenty minute delay in its flight IT 611 flying to Bangalore from Goa …’, I had my laptop out in a jiffy. That’s where I met Martin, a German (or a germ, as he likes to be called) who was on the same flight, coincidentally in the adjacent seat, mercifully not in the same one. Marty was on the lookout for a wireless access point to check his mail, so I lent him the ‘berry for a bit.
The guy looked like he did a lot of traveling, so I popped a few random questions, from German racism to education, engineering and eventually the airports in Europe. He talked about Heathrow, what he believed was one of the worst airports in the world.
And, just as if to prove him wrong, a second consecutive security-check announcement for our flight was made. The fuck up? On the airport’s other PA system, Indigo’s departure was being announced too - simultaneously. It doesn’t take a genius to guess that neither the Indigo passengers nor the Kingfisher ‘guests’ could hear their respective announcements.
At this stage, Martin decided to draw a comparison with Heathrow. I was shocked when he said that Heathrow was just as crazy.
“Certainly, it must be more organized?”
“Yes. But it’s just as crazy.”
I didn’t know what to say, until he broke the silence again.
“But you know something? India is so messed up in these matters, yet, the funny thing is - it works.”
Before I could ask him, he answered for me.
“At Heathrow, it doesn’t work.”
It’s so horribly true. The worst part about indiscipline, corruption, bribery and every other shortcoming of this nation is that, somehow, it all seems to work.
That has been our success story, and ironically our biggest failure over the years - to adjust with our shortcomings instead of attacking the root cause. Because everything fits in anyway.
So, do we need the change at all?
Islam prohibits usury.
It instructs all its followers to stay away from taking or giving any form of interest. Now interest, of course, is one of the basic foundations of banking. Which is why I flinch with disgust every single time I come across the paradoxical term - ‘Islamic Banking’. The whole idea behind prohibiting interest is to ensure that the borrower does not get taxed or punished. But with concepts like Murabaha, a customer faces an extra payment anyway. So what’s the deal?
For those who are new to Murabaha, it’s a typical Islamic banking product, as far as Shariah-compliance goes. Murabaha involves the bank purchasing a commodity at the market-value and then selling it to the customer at a higher price than the market-value. Instead of interest in a traditional loan, the bank makes a profit with the difference of the purchase value. Vehicle murabaha’s are a common sight in Islamic banks around the world. A simple example - you can’t afford a brand new Swift for 4.5 lakhs, so the bank purchases it at 4 and sells it to you at 5. The vehicle is under their ownership until you complete the installments.
But guess what? You end up paying 50k more. And that’s what it really is - a tweaked loophole, something that some folks are trying to exploit.
Islamic Banking has had its share of success in Arab nations, with many banks opening an Islamic branch and some even starting their own Islamic bank. The Middle East Bank in Dubai recently underwent a ‘conversion’ to Emirates Islamic Bank under the Emirates Banking Group. It’s being both - adopted and accepted.
But I don’t see something like that happening in this nation. For one, I haven’t seen the Muslim community unite and speak against usury in contemporary India. I’ve known many Muslims who invest in mutual funds, shares and traditional non-Shariah compliant banking products. Most Muslims in India who would go on to bank tend to think with a secular starting point. The government has done a decent job of separating the religion from an average Indian’s daily life, and most Muslims are already accustomed to getting through their day with their own adjustments as far as the faith is concerned. So, the first challenge would be to get the Muslim population of India to cross over to Shariah-compliant banking products, and they would have to cite the teachings from Islam’s core to bring about the change.
But hey, the bigger challenge would be to keep them on. Tax, if anything, is a killer in the nation and I don’t see how a Shariah-compliant banking product can offer tax-benefits to people who invest in it. This would, in all probability, take a serious hit on the Islamic banks in terms of popularity when everyone figure out that they don’t get much tax benefits anyway. Only the devout, who follow the Book to the T, would end up being loyal customers to an Islamic bank. And that’s a small number - hardly enough to sustain the operations of a financial institution.
There are one-off incidents, but on the whole, Muslims in India have managed to co-exist very well with their Hindu and Christian counterparts. Barring the Shiv Sena and the Godhra incidents, newer governments have done their bit to enforce that the Muslim community do not feel like a minority, even as the media might paint a different image. As we move towards religious harmony, setting up Islamic banks and enforcing it on the people not only threatens to divide the customers of India’s banking industry today, but it also gives right-wing Hindu extremists and the likes of the Sena a whisker of an opportunity to speak up against this, sparking more communal violence.
Islamic Banking might just make those extremist idiots look like smart-alecks. We don’t want that, do we?
It would be best if existing retail banks offer Islamic products within their current schemes and carry out their ledger-separation, overlooked by a Shariah authority, who can certify that the profit is indeed separated. Besides, it offers a more legitimate front - the Sena would have to think twice before attacking at a larger and more ‘legitimate’ organization like ICICI, Stancy, HDFC or HSBC.
We’d rather focus on the scams and bribery and give the common man his due. And work on the tax - it burns a landmine in the pocket.
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