Destination Bangalore: Fast and the Foolish
There are two kinds of people who live in Bangalore. Those who complain about the traffic conditions, and those who don’t drive.
Right, so now that we’re all on the same page - that a driver-in-Bangalore = bitcher-in-Bangalore, a quick reality check. Peak traffic isn’t the most worrying bit about the city. Okay, so there’s pollution, and that leads to half of Bangalore’s kids suffering from Asthma. But that, honestly, isn’t the big worry.
For those of you - like me - who end up spending a lot of time driving at night (and in true Bangalorean sense, when I say night, I mean well past 11pm when the traffic lights are switched off and the girls are available for their second date of the evening), you’d find out it’s a nightmare. At first glance, it seems all too easy - a relief, perhaps - empty roads - the streets almost vacated for you to drive about smoothly.
But with BPOs and boozers only increasing in Bangalore, there’s a serious problem here. Firstly, the traffic lights, like I mentioned earlier, are switched off at 11pm. That leaves us in charge, and the traffic situation is quietly entrusted to the ‘public’, left to the intelligence (or stupidty) of us motorists. Let’s admit it, most of us are stupidly reckless, and worse, restless.
The average driver in Bangalore, upon sighting a pedestrian crossing, wouldn’t brake and hit the hazard and let the bloke pass. No. Instead, he’ll hit the accelerator so that he reaches the zebra-crossing before the pedestrian has, because this city now works at the speed of light. Time isn’t just money - it’s a fortune.
Morality
So - first things first - you do NOT switch off the traffic lights so early. Nope. You just don’t. And if you do, you make sure there are cops around to handle the situation.
Some might argue that the critical signals - like the ones at M. G. Road - work throughout the night. Well, yes, they do, but what’s the point? How many of us conform to it anyway? It doesn’t help that you look like a jackass waiting for the 19-18-17 … countdown to complete, as someone from behind you does a U-Turn from around you and speeds away. In hindsight, he ends up using lesser fuel, saving more money, saving more time. And what do you get by adhering to a rule? Zilch.
So does that mean you break the rules? No. Give me a jackass any day, because - for real - the more we start following the rules, the better the situation becomes.
Mortality
It sometimes disgusts me when people scream about the traffic situation in the city, especially at peak-hours or during the afternoon period. Tell you what - if there’s an ‘accident’ there, all you end up with is a little scratch or a dent on your vehicle. Which can be fixed. Which amounts to little.
But make a mistake at night and you deal with fatality.
The number of deaths in Bangalore have shot up, especially around the Hosur Road area, which falls under the Madiwala Traffic Police limits. This particular traffic police station has recorded the maximum number of deaths, as Old Madras Road, Outer Ring Road and the highways follow suit. Fewer accidents are recorded around Central Bangalore - in fact, the Cubbon Park Traffic Police Station recorded just one death last year - although Cubbon Park, at night, is famous for reasons besides driving.
It’s interesting to note that most of the areas affected include IT strongholds - including the Electronic City, Sarjapur Road and the EGL Business Park. None of these ring-roads or highways have decent provisions for pedestrians to cross either, which only increases the risk.
With IT only growing in the city, it’s about time people realise the implications of bringing in more techies, and worsening the situation. For those of you who drive at night it really makes sense to ensure some of the following and avoid accidents while driving at night:
Do NOT ignore the seat-belt if you’re driving over 40kph. Nothing could be worse than having to brake behind the all-new-SX4 fitted in with state-of-the-art extra-sensitive ABS and find your head stuck in the steering wheel, and find your girlfriend’s head through the windscreen.
Do NOT drive if you’re drunk, depressed, or doped. You’re better off spending the night on the porch of the girl who ditched you rather than inflicting genocide on the streets. And yes, three Vodkas and a Swift count as drunken driving, make no mistake.
Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT break a one-way rule. I have seen the aftermath of one such mistake, a truck crashing head-on into an Esteem who decided to make the one-way a two-way, and ended up taking a one-way ticket to heaven. Or hell. The Esteem was crushed to half its width. Unrecognizable.
Tap the brakes lightly while approaching a U-Turn even if you’re on one of the ring-roads or the highway. Call-center vehicles - Sumos, especially - have this awkward habit of forcing their metalhood through a bit of the orifice, just to ensure that the car speeding in the distance brakes and gives him way. At midnight, you’re priority is to reach home safely and not to challenge an erratic-Hamilton-like-cab-driver.
Do NOT make love while the vehicle is in motion, for crying out loud. It’s uncomfortable, unhealthy, and hazardous to the others, screwing things up in more ways than one.
Do NOT use the cellphone while you are at a high speed. Honestly, you just dropped her off a few minutes ago, and the ‘I-miss-you-sweetheart’ SMS can wait till your car hits a signal or home.
Always remember - you are a responsible citizen driving from point A to point B. You’re not Kimi in Sao Paolo. Yes, it’s fun to speed - and go ahead, enjoy yourself - but it ought to be done in moderation. We care little if you kill yourself while speeding. We just don’t want you to kill the others.
And yes - yours truly has taken a silent vow that he wll never break a traffic rule again unless it’s a life-critical emergency (which, incidentally, includes missing the Powerplays of a cricket match). On a serious note, I won’t break traffic rules ever. No jumping signals, no one-way violations. This city gives me a warm welcome and a load of opportunity everytime I visit it.
I won’t participate in ruining it. And I hope you don’t either.
